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Is It Even Possible To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back?

Something strange happens to me whenever I meet someone for the first time and they ask,

“What do you do for a living?”

At first I used to brim with confidence and tell them,

“I help people with breakups. More specifically, I help women to either recover emotionally from their most recent breakup or help them get their ex back.”

Personally I think it’s a pretty kick-ass job… But the people I would tell didn’t think so.

Oftentimes their face would look like this,

disgusted

And then they would say something like,

“Why would anyone want to get back with their ex?”

or

“Is it even possible to get back with an ex?”

Pretty soon after this happened enough times I felt like it was a hassle to tell people what I did for a living because they are too overcome by their preconceived notions. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that strangers aren’t the only one with preconceived about getting an ex boyfriend back.

Care to take a guess at who else has them?

YOU!

Without a doubt one of the top questions that we get here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery on a daily basis is,

“Do I have a chance?”

or

“Is this even possible?”

Society has beaten the idea that it’s next to impossible to win an ex boyfriend back into your head and I will admit that when I started this journey several years ago this is what I thought too. However, after helping people with their situations  on a daily basis I learned that, that isn’t exactly the case and I have the statistics to back me up.

But more on that later.

First, I think it would be smart of us to study these preconceived notions since they bog so many of you down.

What Society Thinks Of Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back

society

I have a story to tell you that I think will perfectly sum up what the general world out there thinks of breakups and exes.

I started Ex Boyfriend Recovery way back in 2012 but it really didn’t take off until 2013. In fact, I think that is when I first wrote Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. Anyways, I remember being super proud of what I was doing and I remember it was just mind boggling to me at the time that thousands of women were coming to my website every single day for advice on their situations.

But for me personally life hadn’t really changed that much. I was the same ole Chris Seiter.

Well, one day my mom asked for my help at a function and being the awesome son I am,

awesome son

I decided to help her out.

Now, it’s been a while so I don’t exactly remember what I was doing but all I know is that it required a lot of people and even though these people were strangers to me they did know my mom quite well.

Anyways, I remember one of the male strangers came up to me and struck up a conversation.

Of course, when a conversation is struck up it’s almost guaranteed that the inevitable “question” is going to get asked.

“So Chris, what do you do for a living?”

Without hesitation I said,

“I help people for a living who are going through breakups. Specifically, I teach them to get their exes back.”

To which the stranger replied,

“Why would you want to do that? Once someone breaks up they should stay that way.”

Then this guy has the audacity to give my mom this look,

so sorry

What an a**hole.

I remember looking at this guy and wanting to punch him,

punch

So I did.. and that’s the first and only time I have ever been to jail. That’s how much I care about you guys…



Ok, I didn’t punch him and go to jail.

But it probably would have made me feel better if I did.

Anyways, the point of me telling you that fun little story is to teach you that most people despise the idea of getting back with an ex.

They have this preconceived notions about it.

What are the preconceived notions?

The Preconceived Notions

  • It’s not possible to get an ex back
  • It’s not a good idea to get back with an ex
  • You broke up with your ex for a reason… a good reason

In fact, I think I touched on this in my post on how to handle disapproving friends or family.

But preconceived notions don’t just affect other people, they can affect you too.

I mean, why do you think I get so many questions sounding like this,

“Chris, do I even have a chance?”

or this,

“I feel like this is impossible to succeed in. What do you think?”

Personally, I think it’s for two reasons.

Reason One: The Preconceived Notions Got To You

Lets pretend that you want your ex boyfriend back more than anything in the world (you probably do.) In fact, you want him back so much that you tell your best friend about how you are feeling and instead of being supportive they feed you the preconceived notion BS I just covered above,

“Oh no Sally (I hope your name is Sally đŸ˜‰ ) you are better off without him.”

Or

“Sally, it’s not a good idea to get back together.”

Or my personal favorite,

“Once an ex… always an ex.”

After hearing this every day for a week from your best friend, doubt starts to creep in to your mind.

Reason Two: YOU Have These Preconceived Notions

What if you actually grew up with these types of preconceived notions?

You believed that you should never get back with an ex…

That you should never even entertain the idea of getting back together with him…

You never possibly thought that you would find yourself in a position where you would be wanting an ex back. But then again, you have never met anyone who had such a hold over your heart as your ex boyfriend did.

The way he made you feel.

It was so powerful and you never want that feeling to go away.

Nevertheless, deep down in your heart you know that exes don’t get back together and this makes doubt creep into your mind.

Preconceived notions are a hell of a thing to combat but that’s what I am going to do today with this article. I am going to take all three of the preconceived notions I mentioned above and turn them on their head. I want to prove to you that society has it wrong and I have it right.

You ready?

I’m Taking Down Preconceived Notions… Want To Join Me?

join me

Are you ready to take down preconceived notions with me?

Yes?

Sweet!

Let’s begin.

I thought the smartest way to go about this was to first give you a list of all the preconceived notions that I will be breaking down in today’s guide.

These Preconceived Notions Are Going DOWN

  • It’s not possible to get an ex back
  • It’s not a good idea to get back with an ex
  • You broke up with your ex for a reason… a good reason

“Hey Chris… Isn’t that the same exact list that you wrote before?”

Darn… I can’t get anything by you guys.

Ok, maybe I copy and pasted the same list right here. BUT the way I did it… with such passion and intensity… oh who am I kidding, lets just get right to it.

Preconceived Notion #1- It’s Not Possible To Get An Ex Back

impossible

This is the ultimate preconceived notion.

Most people think it’s a one and done after a breakup.

That when you break up you are supposed to stay broken up (more on that in a second.)

But here is the dirty little secret that people aren’t telling you.

A little under half of all breakups result in some type of re-connection down the road.

I know what you are thinking,

“A little under half? You are a freaking madman… I’m leaving.”

Don’t.

I wouldn’t make that kind of bold claim without any proof to back it up.

A few weeks ago a study done by AP-We TV caught my eye. Hell, it didn’t catch my eye it caught Yahoo News’ eye too.

Let me tell you how this went down.

One of the websites I visit frequently is Yahoo.com. I do this for a few reasons.

  • They have interesting content to me
  • I like to stay up to date with the news and that is my news source

Anyways, a few weeks ago I ended up taking my daily visit over to Yahoo and I was greeted with one of the most relevant headlines ever when you consider my chosen profession,

Screen Shot 2016-01-19 at 12.11.18 PM

Now, for someone who teaches people to get back with their exes for a living you could see why I was interested. But still… being friends with an ex isn’t exactly the best way to win an ex back, I thought to myself. I wonder what else this “poll” covered?

And then I saw it.

The granddaddy of all poll numbers.

Over 4 in 10 who have experienced a break end up getting back together again.

I saw this and did a double take.

No, I am not quite sure that explains it. I saw it and did a quadruple take.

“That can’t be right. They must have miscounted. Let me see this poll,” I said.

And there it was.

Screen Shot 2016-01-19 at 12.18.24 PM

Do you see it?

Do you see how 41 out of 100 people were asked,

Have you ever gotten back with an ex after a breakup?

And answered yes.

It sounds unreal, right?

Well, it’s not. Those are real numbers.

Here is what might be a little misleading though.

The poll is a little flawed in the fact that they only asked 100 people if they have gotten back with an ex before. Personally, I would like to see a poll asking 10,000 people. Nevertheless, we work with what we are given.

Another way the poll is misleading is the fact that the question wasn’t,

Do you get back with an ex every single time after a breakup?

It only asked if you have ever gotten back with an ex after a breakup before.

I mean, I highly doubt that every person who said,

Yes, I have gotten back with an ex before meant that they have gotten back with an ex every time they went through a breakup.

Nevertheless, 41 percent is good.

We can work with that.

But what about my experience with this site?

Do 41 percent of people who come here end up getting their ex back?

Nope, as much as I hate to admit this the real number is probably much lower than that.

But as cliche as this is going to sound, it’s not my fault, it’s yours!

“Wait, what do you mean it’s ours?”

I mean that I am giving you all the tools to succeed and all you have to do is to use those tools BUT a lot of you find it difficult to implement my advice.

But enough about that.

We are here to break down preconceived notions not to listen to another Chris Seiter rant.

The notion is that it’s impossible to get an ex back after a breakup. I think with that poll statistic I proved that it is very possible. Oh, and I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.

Lets go back to the poll numbers.

100 people were asked if they had ever gotten back with an ex before and 41 of those people answered YES.

We get that but how much do you want to bet that the 100 people that were asked weren’t trained in the art of getting an ex back?

Something tells me that zero of them actually knew how to get an ex back and yet 41% of them were able to succeed.

So, lets enter this with an assumption.

Lets say that the 100 people that were asked in the poll all wanted to win an ex back. Now, lets assume that they came to one of my two websites (Ex Boyfriend Recovery (for women) or Ex Girlfriend Recovery (for men)) and learned all the correct rules for getting an ex back.

I wonder if that percentage would go up?

I wonder if 41% would turn into 60%?

Food for thought?

Preconceived Notion #2- It’s Never A Good Idea To Get Back With An Ex

bad feeling

It’s never a good idea to get back with your ex boyfriend.

I can’t tell you how many times that I have come across a woman who says this.

Hmm…

I wonder what the statistics say?

After all, my word and experience pale in comparison to statistics (eye roll.)

Apparently when 100 people were asked whether or not it was worth it to stay friends with an ex after a breakup the answer was clear, NO!

Screen Shot 2016-01-20 at 1.14.16 PM

60% think it’s not a good idea.

Wow, that is A LOT!

Now, I know that this isn’t exactly what we are looking at here with the preconceived notion of whether or not it’s a good idea to get back with an ex. However, I feel that a lot of times what happens in the recovery process is that exes do remain friends and ultimately use that as a springboard to get back together.

At least, that’s what the people who said that it isn’t worth it to stay friends with an ex are thinking.

I mean, why else would they think it’s not a good idea?

Probably because they have their own preconceived notion that remaining friends after a breakup will lead to a re connection and they think that’s a bad idea.

But here is an interesting question.

How many of these people actually did stay friends with an ex after a breakup?

Lets look at the statistics again.

Screen Shot 2016-01-20 at 1.16.15 PM

51% of people…

Wait, Didn’t 60% of people think that it’s not a good idea to stay friends with an ex?

Talk about a failure to take their own advice.

Now, were the same exact people asked the same exact question?

I don’t know.

But I do know that this poll is “supposedly” accurate so I am just going to roll with it.

Now, what does any of this have to do with the preconceived notion we are talking about.

It’s really simple.

If we were to go out and do our own poll of the general population most men and women would say that it’s not a good idea to get back with your ex. However, when push comes to shove they can’t take their own advice.

I like to call it the hypocrisy phenomenon.

The Hypocrisy Phenomenon

You know what a hypocrite is, right?

Well, here is Google’s definition,

Screen Shot 2016-01-20 at 1.30.54 PM

Hmm… that doesn’t really tell us much, does it?

Ok, let me Chris Seiterize this definition.

Chris Seiterize- Boil it down to it’s simplest form.

Actually, I am not quite sure I can take full credit for what I am about to say since someone else taught me this but for the life of me I can’t remember who.

Anyways, a hypocrite is someone who says one thing and then does another.

In other words, a person who says that they shouldn’t stay friends with an ex and then after a breakup they, as you guessed, stay friends with their ex is a hypocrite.

But can we really hold it against them?

All logical rules seem to get thrown out the window when a breakup occurs.

But I am getting off topic here.

I want to give you an example of someone who has fallen victim to the hypocrisy phenomenon.

But first… I need you to not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.

No really… I could get in trouble and lose my credibility. đŸ˜‰

This whole website was built on hypocrisy.

Now, before you start charging me with pitchforks hear me out.

When I write for this site I always start every article off with one singular thought,

“What would work on me?”

You see, I am of the mind that if a tactic will work on me then it will work on other men out there. However, every time I sit back and say,

“Oh, the no contact rule wouldn’t work on me…”

or

“Pshh… you think that text would work on me?”

I AM LYING!

Those two tactics would totally work on me. I mean, I wouldn’t have written about them if they wouldn’t work on me. I guess my point here is that everyone is a hypocrite in their own way.

And this is good news for you when it comes to recovering your ex boyfriend. Sure, maybe he will have a preconceived notion that getting back with you is a bad idea but as I have clearly demonstrated with the statistics above. Just because someone has a preconceived notion about something doesn’t necessarily mean that their actions are going to follow their preconceived notion.

Preconceived Notion #3- You Broke Up With Your Ex For A Reason… A Good Reason

good

You broke up for a reason, right?

or

Maybe they broke up with you for a reason.

But what that reason good?

Hmm…

I am not so sure.

First things first though, I am going to go outside my norm and get a bit negative here.

You ready?

Sometimes when people break up it’s a good thing. In fact, I would say that there are times where it’s the best thing. Let me give you an example.

I have created a team to help people through breakups.

I call this team, “The Ex Recovery Team,”

Screen Shot 2016-01-25 at 12.41.51 PM

So you have me. I obviously come up with all the ideas and write all the content. Then we have Taylor. He designs everything. So, if you like the way the website works then that’s all him.

In fact, here is a funny story. I used to be in charge of that and I used to design the website all myself.

Care to take a gander at what it looked like?

old vs new

Pretty crappy, right?

Next we have Amor.

I hired her because I was having a tough time keeping up with comments. So, most likely she will respond to your comments if you ask a question here on the website.

And then finally we have the big one.

My wife!

She is in charge of YouTube and marketing. Though I will say YouTube is really her specialty.

She loves that YouTube channel.

Anyways, when people ask a question via YouTube you most likely will be getting a response from her. Yesterday my wife told me a very interesting story.

Apparently someone who commented there started begging for her ex back.

Here’s the down low.

The woman’s ex boyfriend cheated on her which led the woman to act a bit crazy (but nothing too out of the ordinary.) And then the guy has the audacity to tell the woman that he’s “disappointed in her.”

Are you serious?

He cheats on her and he has the audacity to tell her that he’s disappointed in her?

Oh, but it gets even better.

The woman keeps trying to get her ex boyfriend back (who cheated on her) and the ex boyfriend seems like he’s willing to play along. Well, that’s the case until the girl he cheated with gets back to him and tells him that she’s late on her period and may be pregnant.

Now, when you are staring this situation down the barrel it’s not a bad thing that you have broken up with this kind of a guy.

In my opinion, it may be the best thing.

But not everyone has a crazy situation like this.

In other words, not everyone has broken up for a good reason.

Let me give you another example.

Lets say that you and your ex got into a fight and broke up.

What was your fight over?

Your exes inability to clean around the house.

You see, when two people in the relationship get into a fight it always has the potential to evolve due to past fights.

Let me dive a bit deeper.

Lets say that you get into a fight with your ex over his inability to clean around the house. This infuriates him and he calls you a “nag.” With one simple word he manages to infuriate you to the next level and you recall the time that you caught him flirting with a girl at his work and bring that up. Of course, after bringing it up for the thousandth time he is tired of apologizing and starts calling you names. The names make you so mad you fire back and the next thing you know you are in a full fledged knockout, drag out, fight that ultimately leads to your breakup.

So, let me get this straight.

You got into a fight over him not picking up some simple clothes on the ground and that lead to your demise.

That’s stupid.

Seriously, that is a stupid, stupid reason to break up.

But lets get back to the original question.

Does everyone break up for a good reason?

No way.

Are you nuts?

People break up for all kinds of stupid reasons all the time.

I wonder, why did you and your ex break up?

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15 Comments on Is It Even Possible To Get An Ex Boyfriend Back?

  1. EBR Team Member: Amor // January 27, 2016 at 9:39 pm // Reply

    Hi Amy,

    Hmm, if he’s parent is sick and he needs to care for them, you come second to that. Because even if he likes or loves you, the sick parent will be priority of course. Another thing is that, we can’t really force somebody to share their emotions or story with us, the more we ask, the more that person will pull away. So, the only thing you can do is tell them you’re open if they want to share but if they don’t want to, of course you’ll understand. We can influence a person to change but to take it up to ourselves that he/she must change for us is actually very hard because change must always be a personal decision whether that is or not because of another person.

  2. EBR Team Member: Amor // January 27, 2016 at 9:40 pm // Reply

    Hi Liz,

    Is he a big texter before you broke up and I’m wondering why you’re worried about this since you’ve already had lunch together. Are you flirty in that lunch?

  3. EBR Team Member: Amor // January 27, 2016 at 10:02 pm // Reply

    Thank you very much Ardelle!

  4. EBR Team Member: Amor // January 27, 2016 at 10:40 pm // Reply

    For me you need to do no contact to see if after that, you still decide to give it a try with him and if you do, you need to be firm with standards. It’s a good thing to hear the words from him, but he has to show it but if you still stay when he’s not showing the change, the problem is not with him by that time. It’s with how you are serious on your standards. It’s either he changes and stays or he goes because he’s not meeting your standards.

  5. Hi Amor,

    I would appreciate your advice on something. I was in a situation where I proposed a break up with my BF of just over a year because I felt like he was less and less interested in the relationship. We spent time together well, but it would be times when I was upset at him and he wouldn’t do much to try and console me. I very much still want to be in a relationship with him but I think I wanted him to ‘wake up’ and realise that he needs to pull his weight too. Since proposing a break/(up), he has explained that things have not been great at home and he has a parent that is very sick. He did tell me that he had an unwell parent but not to what extent and did not tell me how much it was affecting him, he “just needed some time alone”. He keeps his emotions very close to his chest to the point where he can bottle up his emotions. I want him to be able to share things with me. I want someone to share their problems with me, especially if it is something that is affecting our relationship. Will he change for me?

    Many thanks,
    Amy

  6. If I wanted to try again what would you recommend?

  7. EBR Team Member: Amor // January 27, 2016 at 11:59 pm // Reply

    Hi Angeline,

    It only depends on you if you b want to v try again. If not, that’s fine. But be civil when you meet him for stuff. Don’t be emotional. Just stay quiet instead of blurting out your frustrations with him because saying those in that moment will not do any good.

  8. Hi there Chris/Amor,

    Firstly I’m really excited that you are replying to comments because I’ve been waiting for ages to ask about my specific question.

    My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me about 4 months ago. The only real reason I got for the break up was that we aren’t right for each other anymore. I do not feel this way, I feel like the good outweighed the bad a million times over and I’m willing to work at our relationship.

    I was a mess for a good 6 weeks and I did everything Chris has said not to do in those 6 weeks. Thankfully I found this site. I am now an avid follower and I have read every single blog. I have also bought the Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO and the Texting Bible.

    I then decided to go into a 30 day no contact rule. I completed it successfully, improving myself as a person and planning out my “get my ex back” campaign.

    Here is where my problem lies. I followed all the texting guides and sent quite interesting first contact text messages to which I did get positive responses, however they were always at least a day later. I tried sending a few more than 3 “first contact messages” and then tried to start a small texting conversation but they didn’t go anywhere. I have since moved on and tried to build rapport but I am finding this so difficult because of how long it takes for him to respond to me. His responses are always positive, they just take so long and so I feel like I can’t progress or even have a conversation!

    He has planned a massive Europe trip this year and I feel like he doesn’t want to move forward with me because of that. He doesn’t show resentment towards me, he responds to me, and we even caught up for lunch for his birthday since I started texting him.

    This blog caught my eye because I really don’t know if it’s possible anymore! How do I make us move forward to the point where we can actually have a texting conversation? I know before asking him to get back together again I need to build up to it which I plan to do this time, properly. I just feel like I can’t go anywhere until we can actually have a texting conversation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)

  9. I honestly think that my situation is impossible.
    Me and my boyfriend split up last September. I got him back in november and he promised that he would work on his problems, that I was worth working for and that he loved me. Before him I was in a very abusive relationship and I have mental health problems from it, so that meant a lot to me. He promised me he would make it work.
    Anyway, by december he was making no effort. I was really trying and he wasn’t bothering. He missed our one year anniversary, he wasn’t bothered about doing anything for new years. I got upset and he couldn’t deal with that either. By January we were spending time apart while I focused on my studies. When we met up he told me it was over. He acted like a completely different person. He wouldn’t even look at me. He told me he hadn’t had feelings for me since December. It was a kick in the teeth after his promises. My whole mental health is unravelling because of the lies. I can’t cope.
    I don’t know if I even want him back….would we have anything left? I don’t even know why I’m commenting on this site…I just want to know if it is even worth putting the effort in to salvage this and whether I should try?
    He just wants to know when he can get his stuff back.

  10. Hi Chris, I would like to make a testimony and some progress of what I achieved by doing your advices. Hope this will help some people here to really dare push themselves to do something outside their comfort zone and to be able to get what they want. I will try my best to make this as short as possible.

    Me and my ex had been together for one year and 8 months. And we officially broke up around october last year, we had an on/off relationship throughout our time together. But that October, I was pretty much done with it and by that time, I found your site and know that the on/off relationship is not healthy at all.

    So, despite us being done from each other, he was still trying to contact me, texting the usual like “Be careful when you go home.” or “Don’t forget to eat.” and me knowing the NC rule decided to put it aside and replied him back, but not the gnat kind of reply. He still asked me to hang out together, held my hands, kissed me, whatever it is that most couple do. And yes, we were still sleeping together. I did all the mistakes, but every time I tried to talk to him about commitment, he would definitely back off. And so I did NC again, but because we were in this one team for our youth organization, we were bound to talk and discuss about work, and he would definitely sidetracked from there and asked me to go out again, as friends. But he always ended up holding my hands, kissing my forehead. He just couldn’t stop touching me. And of course, me being still in love with him (mind you, he’s my first boyfriend), couldn’t refuse to his affections. From there, we would talk and always keep in touch like how we used to be as couple (include facetiming every night). But again, he would back away when I started telling him this relationship is not healthy and I want assurance. He would then started telling me that he cares about me but he just couldn’t love me like he used to.

    I accepted that, and said to him to clear it once and for all. I told him we couldn’t contact anymore. Not even by the excuse saying it’s between friends and just be strangers. And I started the NC again, but not even in one day, he texted me and said he couldn’t bear the idea of us not to talk anymore and be friends. And again….I got swayed. But this time though, i tried to hold myself and always let him be the one who is desperate for my attention…(I used the ungettable advice here) and it worked. He was always looking for me and would be upset if I didn’t reply his texts. He would be mad as well if I put too much time with my friends and then he started talking about some chance on getting back together and it hurts him so much whenever he think of me with other men. And me being dumb again, asked him to commit to the relationship. And again he backed off

    Lesson learnt after the third time, I DECIDED TO NC HIM and told him for the last time that that was his decision. He made it and I told him to be a man that keep his words. I texted him that and he never replied back to me, so I thought, that will be all, that he made his decision. Around the sixth day of NC, he did text me “Happy new year.” But I didn’t reply. I blocked him on instagram (he did too after he found out I blocked him but around 20-ish day of NC, he unblocked me) and also blocked him on facebook after 20 days of NC.

    The reason I blocked him was because he’s finally seeing this girl (that i was being suspicious about and confronted to him during my fail NCs. He denied that he likes the girl by saying he wouldn’t be still caring and wanting to see me if he indeed likes the girl) and he posted pictures and videos of them together. And i know this is a rebound thing, because I read one of your post that said about a man seeing other girl after only three weeks of breaking up, means he’s rebounding. And we are officially stop keeping in touch three weeks ago.

    Now, I am on 30 days of NC and I am planning to not stop until he text me first and by then, I would not ignore him but I will play the ungettable (the hard one) again. And if I am not wrong, if he text me, that would mean the other girl is not satisfying him enough…but truthfully though, I am in no way feeling threatened by this girl. Because reading your other posts, I have been pretty much focusing on myself during NC and it has help me a lot to make myself more attractive, build better personality traits and actually doing something successful for my own future. I know in the end somehow, he would forget the other girl. What made me certain? Because i was his longest girlfriend, we were almost engaged, and I lost my virginity to him (apparently he said this part made me more special than any of his exes and other women)

    So yeah, if he does end up with this girl, I wouldn’t feel bad whatsoever, because I know I could have better man. But if he does still care for me, I would train him to learn how to commit.

    I hope this is not too long, and I hope whoever read this could try the methods Chris gave out because it will definitely work, especially if you’re not making mistakes like me *sighs*

  11. I’ve never posted on anything like this, but I am really worried about this one. I dated this guy for 4 months. We took things slow as we have both been really hurt in the past. We really it it off and spent a lot of time together. I met his family and a lot of his friends and they all loved me and friended me on Facebook. About 4 days ago, out of the blue, he ended, saying he found it hard to communicate with me. I asked him if he wanted to discuss the future and he didn’t want to. About a week before this I quit going to law school because it was getting too expensive. It really crushed me, and I started to clam up. He was there for me though to make me feel better and lift my spirits. He was also in the process of getting a new job and I knew he was stressed about it, but I told him it would all work out. The job would take him 2 hours away from me, but he said it was no big deal and that he would come up and see me, plus his family was by me. I would also make trips to go to him. He would always say that I would like it where he was going and talked about me moving down there eventually. His friends always told me that he talked about me none stop. When he ended it with me he said I was the “prettiest, smartest girl he had ever dated” and that his “head was spinning with the move” and “he wanted to stay in my life” and that it “wasn’t easy for him”. I respected his wishes and told him that while it broke my heart completely, I understood. I proceeded to unfriend him on all social media and have not contacted him since (4 days ago). I really love this guy, but I will not look desperate. He was a great guy and respected me in every way, and I always returned the favor. We had a lot of similar interests and loved spending time together. I feel that we had a real connection. We never fought. He never gave me any sign that he was not into me anymore.We had little things that we didn’t agree on but nothing major and we usually just compromised and laughed about it. His friends have remained friends with me on Facebook. I’m just wondering if this sounds like its a done deal, or is there a single thread of hope. I feel like in the midst of everything that was going on he panicked and he just needs time and space.

  12. EBR Team Member: Amor // January 28, 2016 at 2:25 am // Reply

    Hi C,

    First, don’t follow his request about you seeing others so he can move on. That is being selfish of him. But most important is, don’t lose hope. If you take your life, you also take the chance of getting back with him or meeting someone much better or just enjoying life and being a blessing to others. This time do NC because you need to find love for yourself not just because you need to get over somebody. You first, because you can’t give love that you don’t have.

  13. EBR Team Member: Amor // January 28, 2016 at 2:38 am // Reply

    Hi Liu Fei,

    Thank you for the suggestion. I think this post is close to that.

    What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Gets A New Girlfriend

  14. EBR Team Member: Amor // January 28, 2016 at 3:28 am // Reply

    Hi Kristen,

    I’m sorry for what happened to him but right now I think it’s best if you support him through this and set aside reconciliation for now. He’s going through a very tough time in his life, and being there for him is actually even greater than getting back together. You get to be this person whom he can rely.

  15. Dear Chirs
    I think you shoud write a post about :”How to get your ex back when he blocked you and dumped you for an another girl”. Because this situation is so common, and in this situation , girls don’t have much things to do. We can’t be friend with ex , so how can we Raise His Attractiveness Towards ? I think this is the most terrible and the most common situation !
    So please write a post about it, Chris

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